Head Above Cold Water

Missed me? Didn't realize I was gone? Either way, hi again.

Last time I wrote was Oct. 1st. I was in the Bay Area, in the middle of a play. Now here I am, two months and twenty days later, back in New York, freezing my tits off.

I don't think I'll ever get used to the concept of Winter. Don't like it. Never have, never will. I'm a Summer boy. In addition to that, I'm a Northern Californian -- "cool" is cool; "cold" is oppression.

Anyway, if the question is where have I been, the answer is "Busy" (which apparently means that busy is a place). There have been so many plans for so many blog entries, and one by one, they fell by the wayside. I think I felt overwhelmed. Too much happened too fast. It felt strange to write about one, without writing about another, and not wanting to show favoritism to one event and shaft another, somehow they all ended up equally undocumented.

There were surfing sessions in Northern California, wherein I caught the best waves of my life. Spending time with my family, my friends, and my 99-year-old grandmother.

There was the epic three+ week road-trip with Max, across the Southern United States, wherein many amazing experiences were had, many new friends were made, and many things were learned.

My return to NY, and the process of regaining my bearings and momentum. The starting of new (daunting) projects (which have absorbed my life for the last month and some). Surfing on Long Island when it was 16 degrees (with windchill) or lower. Reunions, departures, new things and old, growing a moustache, and shaving it.

This is, I supposed, what I'd feared would happen. I'd feel overwhelmed, and would end up writing such a cursory summary of all that's transpired that I don't really say anything. Let me just talk about now, now.

I haven't been this busy and stressed out since grad school, but I notice that I'm a lot happier than when I was in grad school. Still working on finding ways to keep my stress levels down, but I'm glad that I'm busy with something that's inspiring me. The project I'm working on is MY project, and that means a lot right now. When I turned twenty-eight someone asked me what my goals were for the next year of my life. I said I wanted to move closer to my ultimate goal of supporting myself though my acting and writing, and ideally, to be acting in what I'm writing. I'm happy to say I'm finally getting closer to that goal. Closer than I've ever been before, and it seems more and more possible every day. Now, clearly, I've still got a ways to go, as I'm writing this from a temp desk at a mid-town law office, but I'm getting there.

My personal life isn't any more stable than it used to be, but do you know what? That's not bothering me right now. I'm not sure that personal lives (at least mine) are meant to be stable. I think it's like standing on a ball; you don't wait for it to turn into a block, you just get better at balancing on it. Then if, down the road, you happen to be standing on something less precarious, you'll be even more sure-footed on it.

That being said, my home life is better than it has been in years. My new roommate is my old and dear friend Bay, and he and I, along with our third roommate (whom I've lived with for a year and a half) make a really nice little unit. My home feels more like home than it has in close to a decade, and I'm extremely grateful for that. It's very important, especially in this city.

So, now that we're caught up, no matter how superficially, I feel like I can move forward. I suppose I don't make much of a historian, but I'll do my best to keep up with my "in the moment" writing.

More soon.

Love,

Brent 12/21/07