Monday, September 10, 2007

Mental Health Day

Ahhhh... baby, it was long, long overdue.

The day of rest. The day of nothing. Beauty.

I woke up at about 10am today, slightly hung-over, but only slightly. Good hung-over, do you know what I mean? Not the hung-over of a person who has poisoned themselves and must now grapple with the ensuing effects. No. I'm talking about the hung-over of a person who was up past four, who had just been drinking, dancing, smoking, and flirting at a party that was wonderful beyond wonderful. I'm talking about the revelry of a man who has worked like a dog for thirteen days without a day off... and he's dressed like Tom Jones.

Is there a better hung-over than that, I ask you?

All you need for your Mental Health Day is... nothing. You need only not worry, and if you catch yourself worrying, don't worry about it (note: tricky). Here are some recommended ingredients, though:

-- Food. Good to have around; preferably within arm's reach. If you don't have food, worry not: That's what delivery is for. You probably don't want to go grocery shopping, unless you would find that relaxing right now. If that's the case, shop to your heart's content, my friend.

-- A Warm/Comfy Place. Why put clothes on at all, if you don't have to?

-- Orgasms. I'd recommend three or four. Procure them somehow. It doesn't really matter how. Give 'em to yourself, have someone else give 'em to you, hump a cantaloupe, whatever, it's all gravy and I'm not going to judge you.

-- Go For a Walk. My God, it was beautiful today, wasn't it? It was cold and overcast, but everything seemed so crisp; something about it was just breathtaking. Gorgeous.

-- Movies. Dude, as long as you're going for a walk, you might as well walk to the video store, right? Grab a couple movies. Impulse rent! I know, I love Netflix too, but whatever happened to the good old days of walking into a video store and saying, "Hmmm... 'Starring Charlie Sheen and Ja Rule'... fuck it, why not?"

Those were the key ingredients of my day. No, I didn't clean my apartment, like I swore I would. No, I didn't work my Italian accent for Othello (don't ask), or my music for Our Town. I fixed my bike… because I felt like it. I called some people just to say hi. The point is, it should be a low-maintenance, whatever's-clever type of day. You can do whatever you want, you just can't stress about it, and I'll tell you right now, that is a thing of pure beauty.

To tell a plain, simple truth, I have been a wreck, lately. These last couple months have been extremely rough. I feel spread so far beyond thin that if you held me up to the light, you could see right through me. I'm used to multi-tasking; I've been doing that since I got here (Denver); it's the stress-level, though. I don't know that it's ever been so through-the-roof. It's not just that I'm divided between three to five things at any given time, is that each of those things has so much weight, and so much more pressure associated with them. I'm a big ol' mess, and I look like hell, and I feel like shit, and I feel like I'm eternally falling behind. So...

... to take one day, just the one, where I kick back and say "Fuck it", "Fuck it" to everything that's bringing me stress, "Fuck it" to everything that's been bringing me down, "Fuck it" to all my fears, "Fuck it" to anything I just plain don't want to deal with today... that is a powerful tool. That's a lifeline in the murk. That is how I'm going to get through next week.

Tonight, baby, I'm full of mellow. I'm bubbling with love, and I'm brimming with content.

Take time to make time for yourself. That's the best advice I could give anyone. You'll be your own hero.

-BR 3.19.06

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